


how to survive the first night out without baby, santiago-style

by 4drinkamy



Category: Brooklyn Nine-Nine (TV)
Genre: Established Relationship, F/M, Fluff, Future Fic, baby maya is back!!!!
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-14
Updated: 2019-02-14
Packaged: 2019-10-27 19:36:18
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,814
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17772953
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/4drinkamy/pseuds/4drinkamy
Summary: Jake and Amy go on their first date night out since having a baby on Valentine's Day.





	how to survive the first night out without baby, santiago-style

**1\. Create a binder.**

Any difficult situation can be resolved with the creation of a binder; that much Amy has known since she first learned to read. It’s a strategy that helped her through the loneliness while Jake was in Witness Protection, that made those sleepless nights mulling over evidence against Hawkins seem worth it, that prepared her for labour and delivery.  And so when faced with the most difficult situation she can possibly imagine - leaving her daughter of four months for the first time to go on a much anticipated Valentine’s date with her husband - it’s a no-brainer that a binder would have to be involved to ease the separation anxiety (that seems to have manifested before any actual separation).

Contact numbers, a bedtime routine divided into 2 minute increments, instructions for heating up milk, a list of emergency services: nothing is to be left to chance.

“You sure that’s detailed enough, babe?” Jake says, peering over her shoulder at page fifty-seven of the binder while bouncing Maya on his hip.

“I’m just trying to think of everything that could go wrong,” Amy mutters distractedly, sticking in a map of the quickest route to the nearest hospital. On the next page will be a backup route, a list of cab services, and a survey of the most likely traffic conditions, as according to the weather and time of day.

“You do know Valentine’s Day is still two weeks away, right?”

“Yeah, which means I’m already days behind on this binder.”

“Mommy’s crazy, isn’t she, Maya-Moo?” he coos happily at their daughter, who gurgles and reaches her hand to grab at his face.

Amy glances at the scene behind her and her heart instantly melts for about the third time that day, “Mommy’s not crazy, she just doesn’t want to lose this.”

“Motherhood really has made you a million times cheesier, Ames,” her husband grins at her, before quickly scrunching his face up in disgust. “Personally I could really do with losing the stinky diapers. You know, you’re lucky you’re so cute, baby,” he directs at a still smiling Maya, utterly naive of what she’s just done, while brushing her curls away from her face.

“You’re my hero,” Amy calls as he makes his way down the hall to the changing table in the nursery.

“Yeah, yeah, I’m your dream husband,” he calls back at her.

Amy shakes her head with a smile, making a note to add a guide on the most efficient way to change a diaper on page eighty-three.

**2. Enlist a trustworthy babysitter.**

The problem with finding a babysitter on Valentine’s Day is that a lot of people would rather spend the night with their significant others than babysit an infant. Unless of course that person is Charles Boyle, who jumps at the opportunity the minute Jake mentions that he’s thinking of booking a fancy meal at a nice restaurant with his wife.

“You sure Genevieve is alright with this, bud?” Jake queries with an eyebrow raised, letting Charles into their apartment on the big night.

“Oh, she’s more than okay, she gets that I have to be there for my favourite god-daughter,” Charles grins, glancing over to the couch at Maya cuddled against Amy’s chest. “Plus, we already celebrated last night instead. We had the most sensual five-course goat-based meal in Manhattan - you and Amy should definitely go - and then Genevieve was so turned on that we -”

“Buh, uh uh,” Jake interrupts before Charles can overshare any further. “Point is, you’re good looking after Maya for a few hours?”

“So America’s dream couple can reconnect alone and deepen their already inseparable bond and possibly conceive baby number two? I’ve been looking forward to this night more than you two have!”

**3\. Have a secret cry in the bathroom before you leave.**

Crying is most definitely allowed. Especially in the bathroom alone at the thought of finally leaving your baby. Amy studies her face in the mirror - the way three applications of concealer still can’t cover up the dark circles under her eyes, the strands of grey hair threatening her dark brown roots, the way there are definitely more lines on her forehead when she frowns - and she lets the tears flow. There’s a hundred anxious thoughts racing around her head and even though, rationally, she knows that her baby is going to be completely fine and safe in the care of one of her best friends, the idea of leaving her and not being there for her still kind of hurts. But, at the same time, she’s been looking forward to finally getting some alone time with her husband for weeks and she's very much aware that said husband is equally excited by the prospect, if only from the way he sleepily wrapped his arm around her waist this morning, holding her a little closer and letting their first kiss of the day linger a little longer.

She takes a few deep breaths,  re-powders her face, and applies a fourth coat of concealer.

** 4\. Have the best husband in the world. **

“You okay, babe?” Jake asks, entering their bedroom having left Charles teaching their four month old how to count in Latvian. “You know we can stay here and order takeout, if you really want to - although I’m pretty sure Boyle will insist on staying too and third-wheeling us.”

“Yeah, I’m fine,” Amy assures, chewing her lip. “Hey, can you zip up the back of my dress please?”

He dutifully obliges, taking the opportunity to wrap his arms around her from behind and rest his chin on her shoulder. “You look beautiful, Ames. I have the most gorgeous, hottest wife in the entire world.”

Amy blushes and bring her right hand to cradle his cheek, breathing in the cologne she loves on him that only ever gets brought out on special occasions. The scent reminds her of their wedding night, of their post-prison reunion, of every date night they’ve ever been on, and she knows how lucky she is to have a partner who always has her back and always goes the extra mile to keep her post-baby body self-consciousness at bay. She turns in his arms to kiss him gently. “You look beautiful too, Pineapples.”

** 5\. Cry again, just for good measure. **

“Goodnight, sweet girl,” Amy cradles her baby against her, trying to take in the softness of her skin, the gentle grip of her tiny hands. “You’re going to be such a good girl for Uncle Charles, aren’t you, baby?”

“Yep, and we’ll be back by midnight for sure,” Jake nods at Charles, who’s already strapped a baby bjorn to himself with a bedtime playlist that he assures is scientifically proven to aid a baby’s development lined up on his phone.

“Mommy and Daddy love you so much, Maya girl,” she kisses her daughter’s cheek, once, twice, letting Jake lean in to do the same, before handing her over to Charles. “Her favourite blankie is in her crib if she cries, the binder’s on the dining table, the car seat is over there and remember to change her diaper with the special rash cream before she sleeps, got it?” she reminds him for the hundredth time, just in case.

“Got it the first time, Amy. We’re going to be just fine,” Charles smiles enthusiastically at her, stroking Maya’s cheek and bouncing her gently in the carrier.

“She’s going to be fine, right?” Amy asks Jake as soon as they step out onto the stoop of their apartment building to wait for a cab. Tears forming in her eyes once more threaten to fall, and goddammit, sometimes it’s hard being a naturally emotional person fuelled by new mommy hormones and anxiety.

“She’s going to be perfect, babe,” he squeezes her hand gently, like he always does to calm her down and it makes her feel grounded, safe. “Happy Valentine’s Day, honey.”

She wipes the tears away as carefully as she can so not to ruin her mascara and leans up to kiss his cheek, “Let’s go celebrate this dumb, over-commercialised holiday, huh?”

He smiles at her fondly, his thumb tracing patterns on her interlinked hand, “No one in the world I’d rather celebrate it with.”

** 6\. Text the babysitter every five minutes (or until you get grossed out). **

**SENT 7:48pm: Charles Boyle**

How’s it going? Is she crying? Is she okay?

**RECEIVED 7:50pm: Charles Boyle**

We’re doing perfect. Reading a bedtime story on the history of pasteurization and I can tell she loves it!

**SENT 7:50pm: Charles Boyle**

Okay. And that reminds me, if she starts crying in an hour or so, warm up the milk in the fridge as per the binder’s instructions on p.23.

**RECEIVED 7:51pm: Charles Boyle**

Do you really think I don’t know how to heat up breast milk, Amy? It’s a delicacy and delicious! You really ought to try and make ice cream out of it!

**SENT 7:51pm: Charles Boyle**

Don’t you DARE try my breast milk, Charles.

** 7\. Get stupidly tipsy. **

“We’re really doing this, huh?” Jake says, sipping his glass of wine and weaving his right hand with her left over the table. “Our first date night with a baby, but without a baby.”

“Yep,” Amy grins, “Just two normal people, who happen to have a baby together, wining and dining.”

“I miss her so much but I’m so proud of us, babe, I think we’re killing it.”

“I’m proud of us too, like, we’ve already nearly finished a bottle of wine - how crazy is that?”

“So crazy,” he agrees, his fingers coming to play with her engagement and wedding ring. “Love you, Ames.”

“I love you so much, Jake,” she smiles back at him, before not so subtly leaning over the table and giggling helplessly. “And guess what?! My boobs are starting to hurt real bad so I’m going to have to, get this, pump and dump when we get home.”

“Oh, you are so bad,” he grins at her with a glint in his eye.

“Hey, don’t make fun of me! This is your child I’m feeding! Or not feeding.”

“I wasn’t teasing, babe! You’re the most badass mom ever.”

“Oh, yeah?” she says, biting her lip. “Because this mama thinks you’re not so bad yourself - you know I love you in that pink shirt.”

“I definitely know you do,” he smirks at her, remembering the eventful first night of their honeymoon (and many an end to a date night since). “Hey, how was our honeymoon nearly two years ago?”

“I guess time flies when you’re having fun. Or when you’re the happiest you’ve ever been.”

“Aww, you’re so sappy when you’re drunk.”

“Only for you, babe,” she leans over the table again, this time to press a quick kiss to his lips.

Get stupidly tipsy, and fall in love all over again.

**Author's Note:**

> kudos and comments always appreciated! i'm @fourdrinkamy on tumblr :)


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